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Shanae Cooper-Robinson


Marrige picture about choosing spouse wisely

Guest Writer, Franceta Lopez | April 8, 2024| Blog- Relationship, Motherhood & Marriage

Growing up, fairy tales instilled in me the belief in love at first sight; the kind where Prince Charming sweeps you off your feet and you live happily ever after. But real life isn’t always a fairy tale, and the decision to marry someone you’ve just met, barely know, or have existing relationship issues with, is a serious one that requires careful consideration.

When I first met my husband, it wasn’t exactly love at first sight, on my end. However, there was an undeniable connection that drew us together. We got married in our twenties after being together for several years, and we’ve now been married for 13 years, with a total of 22 years together. Our journey together has taught me valuable lessons about marriage and the importance of knowing your partner deeply before making such a lifelong commitment.

Marriage is meant to be forever, a union that lasts through the highs and lows of life. It’s not something to be entered into lightly or with doubts lingering in the back of your mind. Walking into a marriage with uncertainty is a recipe for disaster, as it sets the stage for unresolved issues and disappointment down the road.

One common mistake people make is hoping that marriage will magically fix existing problems in the relationship. Whether it’s issues like infidelity or abuse, expecting marriage to change someone is unrealistic and often leads to further heartache. Marriage should not be viewed as a solution to problems but rather as a partnership built on mutual respect, trust, love, and with God in the centre.

Before saying “I do,” it’s crucial to take the time to truly get to know your partner. This means having open and honest conversations about your values, goals, and expectations for the future. Pay attention to red flags and don’t ignore warning signs simply because you’re infatuated with the idea of being married.

If your partner exhibits concerning behavior such as cheating or abuse, don’t make the mistake of thinking that marriage will somehow transform them into a better person. It’s important to prioritize your own well-being and safety above all else. Remember, marriage is meant to enhance your life, not to be a source of pain and suffering.

In my marriage, I’ve found that having a strong foundation of love and faith has helped us weather life’s storms together. We’ve faced challenges along the way, but our commitment to each other and to our marriage vows has remained unwavering.

So, marrying someone you just met, barely know, or have existing relationship issues with, is ultimately your decision. But I urge you to approach it wisely not quickly. Take the time to build a solid foundation with your partner, and never settle for anything less than a love that is genuine, respectful, and enduring.

Franceta Lopez is an author, empowerment speaker and certified life coach for moms. She specializes in helping moms and wives with two (2) or more children break free from the shackles of overwhelm and despair by implied effective household management and self-care strategies while rekindle intimacy with their spouses. Thus, rediscovering joy, purpose and balance in their lives. Learn more @

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